I made an article last week talking about why I don’t make goals based on my OCD. Today, I want to talk about why I don’t make goals based on my chronic illness. Now, these two things differ quite a bit. That’s why I’m writing two separate articles. Chronic illness poses a lot more physical challenges and isn’t about what I believe I can do. It’s more about finding a way to work within the circumstances I’m in.
I have several different chronic illnesses. This changes the way I interact with the world on a daily basis. I have a service dog and often need to accommodate my disability in almost everything I do. When setting goals, I don’t take my disability into account. Some may criticize me for doing this but hear me out.
I may not ever be able to run a marathon. It’s one of the biggest goals I have. It’s something I work towards daily, when it’s warm enough to run. I have gotten hip surgeries so I will be able to continue running. I have adjusted my heart medication in order to run to my fullest potential. The point I am trying to make here is that I may not ever be able to but I’m still going to try. I really appreciate the phrase, “life is about the journey and not the destination.” If I never run a marathon, I will still have accomplished running all that I have run. I can still be grateful for the progress I made. Does that make me foolish for thinking I could run a marathon? I don’t think so.
I don’t know what the future holds. For all I know, I’ll go into cardiac arrest while running. I’m exaggerating, that won’t happen…probably. I don’t set my goals based on where I am currently. I base them on what I want in the future. That doesn’t mean I’ll get there. It just means that the decisions I make today are going to be in an effort to achieve the goal I made. So when I say that I don’t make goals based on my chronic illness, I’m saying I’m not limiting myself. I will absolutely have to accommodate my disability along the way. There is no way around that, unless I miraculously get healed which doesn’t feel likely. I am not trying to be toxically positive. There are days where I am absolutely devastated because I cannot stand in the shower for longer than ten minutes. I sit there and think “How will I ever run a marathon?”
I may never run a marathon but I’m going to train as if I can. I’m going to train as well as I can within the confines of my body. I refuse to set my expectations lower because how I get to my goal may be different than others. It may take longer and be more difficult. It may be stopping twenty times before getting to the finish line. It may mean that at mile ten I have to be done because it’s unsafe for me to go on. I don’t know what the end result will be. I’m just saying, in my perfect world, that is what I want. So that is what I am going to work towards. I hope that this makes sense.
I hope that you’re having an amazing day. I hope that your day is filled with joy, positivity, and laughter. I hope that you find peace, love, and happiness.