Helpful Hints

Qualities I Look For In Friends

If chronic illness has taught me anything, it is choose your friends wisely. We are all equals but some people are much kinder than others. I know this article isn’t like my usual ones but I think it’s important to talk about. It’s easy to cling onto people when friends are sparse. Easy friends are often the ones to leave when life gets difficult. I grow close to people that I imagine will be there for me in a crisis. It’s not a full proof plan but these are some of the qualities I look for.

  • Empathy

I think that this is the most important. Empathy is essential to walking a mile in someone else’s shoes. Without it, we’re often left feeling misunderstood. It can be isolating to interact with someone who isn’t empathetic. With chronic illness, having someone that can stand by you and understand your experience is vital.

  • Compassion

Compassion is non negotiable. Although, it’s not always easy to understand why people do what they do, it’s important to acknowledge we don’t know everything. Every situation comes with a myriad of perspectives that influence how we think and act. That’s not an excuse for people to act however they want but it’s respecting that it may not be about us. Someone who lives compassionately will understand this.

  • Optimism

I think everyone feels a bit pessimistic right now. It’s difficult to look at the world with optimism 100% of the time. The important thing, to me, is having an optimistic overarching perspective. Trusting that things will work out the way that they are supposed to makes a huge difference in how you view life.

  • Joy

Circumstances often influence our emotions but we all know joyful people. They can often cheer us up in a moment’s notice. When they walk in the room, they bring a smile with them. It’s contagious and makes most people feel safe and comfortable. Who wouldn’t want to keep a joyful person around?

  • Humor

I think the easiest way to deal with difficult situations is through laughter. Laughing is scientifically proven to make people healthier. It’s good to keep people around that make you laugh and smile. People who are willing to make jokes and try to make you laugh are great people to have in your corner.

These are just a few characteristics on a never ending list. I wrote this list because I think it’s easy to lose sight of qualities that are important when we are looking for friends. In many of my Facebook groups I’ve seen a lot of people searching for friends. I want everyone to know that they are worthy of having friends. Beyond that, you are worthy of having good friends. Not all friends are equal. Don’t give yourself to people who don’t deserve you. I hope your day is filled with positivity, love and laughter!

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