Staying In Minnesota

It’s hard for me to write this article. It is not the news I wanted to share with you. I am staying in Minnesota. While I feel there are a lot of benefits to this reality, the cons are present and weighing on me. I had hoped that I would share with you that I was headed to Canada for Graduate School. Due to the fact that I only applied to two programs and the limited space available, I am not.

I received this news while I was at work. To say that it was a devastating blow is an understatement. For the past few months I have been sitting on the edge of my seat to receive this news. It has caused significant emotional and mental turmoil. I was doing my best within those few months to be flexible. I had been searching for apartments both in Minnesota and Canada. I also considered apartments elsewhere to move for the sake of moving. To put it simply, Minnesota is not where I want to be.

There are several reasons why I want to leave Minnesota. To begin with, I never wanted to be in Minnesota. Every time I’ve had the opportunity to move I have. Simply put, I have no desire to be stationary in a place that I think is subpar. It doesn’t speak to me. The other reasons have to do with personal growth. I don’t think that Minnesota provides an environment in which I can thrive. While I appreciate the support I have here, it’s not always helpful and sometimes it can feel hindering.

Despite all the reasons I want to leave, Minnesota is where I’m going to stay for the next year. My plan is to reapply to Graduate School in the Spring for the Fall. Regardless of the decision I receive next Spring, I plan to leave Minnesota. I have thought extensively about the most feasible way to continue. A year to get on my feet and out of school seems like a reasonable timeline to me.

In the meantime, I have been searching endlessly to find an ideal apartment in the city. I have also started to look for a job within the field I’d like to go into, Disability Studies. There are a lot more opportunities than I expected to find right out of school. I already have interviews set up. I feel hopeful about the next year. It’s not what I wanted but maybe it will be what I needed. Only time will tell. The reality is, sometimes it’s important for me to allow life to give me a wake up call on how fast and exhausting my sprint has been. I didn’t realize how burnt out I was until I finished school.

Working everyday and having class was really taking its toll. Now, all I have to do is worry about going to work and taking care of myself and Crush. That’s okay. I think the idea of looking at apartments in St. Paul eased my mind to the fact that staying here was going to be okay. I have to remind myself that being upset about staying doesn’t make me fragile. A lot has changed in my life recently, almost all of it for the good. That still creates challenges and road bumps. I am trusting that everything is going to even out and workout in my favor, it almost always does.

I hope you are having a wonderful day. I hope your day is filled with joy, positivity, and laughter. I hope you find peace, love, and happiness.