My Experience
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How to Stay Present
Life is filled with trials and tribulations. It’s easy to get overwhelmed by work, family, or social situations. Having OCD, I’ve found various ways of staying present. This has become second nature. After a while, you start utilizing these techniques without even realizing it. If you have anxiety or need a little help during the pandemic, here are some tips on how to stay present. Ground Yourself Before you do anything, ground yourself. Bring yourself back to the present moment. Whether you find the rainbow, use your senses, or do 4-5-7 breathing take a moment to come back. Without grounding yourself, your mind will automatically be overwhelmed. Any attempts to…
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The Thing About Performing
This subject has been on my mind a lot recently. What does it mean to be a performer? I have studied acting now for four years in college. That’s beyond what I did in high school. Altogether theatre has been in my life for over ten years. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I’ve known this is what I wanted to do at a young age. People will often say “Well you’re a performer, you should know how to be on the spot.” There’s a lot to say about this notion but let me start here. Yes, improv is a part of theatre. That doesn’t mean that I want…
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OCD and Surgery
I dread having surgery when it comes to my OCD. Downtime is something I really struggle with. I try to keep myself busy. I feel purpose when I have a task in front of me. Relaxing is something that doesn’t come easy to me. It’s something I work at every day. Surgery is the combination of a lot of things I fear. It’s a lack of motivation, energy, and filled with downtime. Going into surgery, I often come up with a cope ahead plan. I plan activities that stimulate my mind. I plan for mindfulness. I schedule appointments with my OCD therapist for exposures and accountability for compulsions. Surgery can…
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I Am Officially A Robot
I am now, officially a robot. I have successfully gone through the Interstim procedure in both stages. I have a battery implanted in my back. This connects to a wire that stimulates my sacral nerve. Check out my blog articles “A Long Road That Ends With Surgery” or “I Had Surgery.” Those are the prerequisites to understand this one. This nerve stimulator helps to give me more control of my bladder. If you’re unfamiliar with nerve stimulators, I’m going to explain a bit more. I have been dealing with urinary incontinence for almost a year. I am unlike people with urge incontinence or overactive bladder. I leaked small amounts of…
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A New Diagnosis
This post is about a new diagnosis that requires information on bodily fluids. If you’re sensitive to bodily functions, come back on Monday for a different article. For those of you who have stayed, welcome. Let’s talk about stomach problems. I have had stomach problems for years. The majority of people in my family have one issue or another. I have chronic diarrhea. On my worst days I have diarrhea at least eight times a day. It is painful for a lot of different reasons. Along with diarrhea, I have intense bloating and stomach discomfort. I often can’t eat without having to go to the bathroom within twenty minutes. It’s…
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The End of Summer and The Start of Fall
This summer has been a whirlwind. It feels like so much has happened. To recap, I took five summer classes, went on a trip to Fort Wayne, celebrated my 21st birthday, and got two surgeries. It’s been a big summer and those are only the highlights. Not to mention the global pandemic and how that changed everything. I finally finished my summer classes. That feels so good to say. I finished my classes on the 19th of August and I have until the 7th. Up until the end of July, I had no idea what my classes would even look like. As my schedule sits now, I will do all…
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Travelling with Crush
A few weeks ago, Crush and I went on a trip. This was a milestone for us. It was our first time travelling together. I didn’t know what to expect. We were travelling over 500 miles and spending over eight hours in the car. I wanted to ensure both Crush and I were taken care of. I made sure to stop every few hours so Crush could get out, potty, and walk around. It was nice because I also got to do all of those things. I gave him water and kept the air on high to keep him comfortable. Of course, that means I was bundled up like the…
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This is Wrong….
I’m going to talk about a repetitive experience I’ve been having. I think that anyone in the chronic illness community can relate to this. It’s frustrating and invalidating. Let me explain. When I’m having an issue, depending on the severity of the issue, I go to the doctor. The doctor decides how they want to proceed and orders testing. I go through extensive testing to get down to the root of the problem. Finally, one test comes back wildly off. Eureka, an answer. Finally, after all this pain and struggling. I have an answer. This is where the problem starts. For many of us, getting this answer is something to…
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I Had Surgery
By the time you’re reading this, I have had surgery. I’m writing this well before I’ve gone under but it’s crazy to think about. I didn’t know how much went into getting this interstim surgery. I didn’t know the extent of the restrictions. At this point, I’ve only had the first surgery. Now I’m going to be in the trial period of deciding whether the second surgery is done. From what I understand, there will be a lot of communication between myself and my medical team. The deciding factor on the second surgery is my improvement rate. To qualify to have the device permanently implanted, your symptoms must improve by…
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Your Language Matters
Language is so important in our everyday life. Communication of any kind is how we fulfill our needs as humans. Language matters. I come across people talking about themselves very negatively. Sometimes it’s not even negative. They’re words that perpetuate a message of intolerance towards issues we all face. One of the most blatant examples I come across people saying things like “I hate my body” or “my body is broken.” I’ve talked about this before but I want to explain why I think this is so toxic. How we talk about ourselves is often how we allow other people to treat us. If we degrade ourselves, other people may…
