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My Response to “I’ll Pray For You”
If you’re chronically ill, you’ve heard it before a thousand times. “I’ll pray for you.” Now, I’m not talking about the cousin who is genuinely saying, “I’m keeping you in my prayers.” I’m talking about the person that’s saying it as a condescending belittlement. For a lot of people, coming in contact with someone who looks normal and is dealing with something life altering, is uncomfortable. People don’t know what to say or how to respond. The problem with saying, “I’ll pray for you” is that they’re praying for the wrong thing.I’m going to try to explain this in the most elegant way possible. I don’t need to be fixed.…
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What I Wish I Knew Before Surgery
A week ago, I got my tonsils removed. This was my second surgery, I had my gallbladder removed a year ago. People will warn you about a lot of things when going into surgery. Pain, recovery time, and the inherent risks you take when undergoing a procedure. I always feel like I’m signing my life away, I guess in some ways you are. Accepting the risks of surgery is terrifying to me. It’s terrifying for most people. Even though you sign that scary form and acknowledge that there is a laundry list of risks with fractions of a percent that everything could go horribly wrong, These are the things I…
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How to Love Your Body
Three years ago, I hit a serious fitness craze. I was working out daily, eating healthy, and focusing on my fitness goals. I was more confident than I had ever been. I loved my body and people knew it. Now, I wouldn’t say I was cocky or overly self confident. I was proud of the work that I put into my body and how that work showed. When I got sick, I lost all control over what my body looked like. If you’ve ever been on steroids long term you know what it means to have prednisone puff. I was the same weight but it looked like I gained twenty…
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Goals for the New Year
Like most people, I have made several goals for the new year. Unlike most people, they’re achievable goals that are actually possible. I do believe in New Year’s resolutions, but I try to make goals for the year that will help me grow in several areas. Personally, mentally, and physically, are the key areas I focus on. Right now, I don’t have a job because of my physical health. That is something I can’t control so I don’t make a goal in that area. Same with school, because it’s on hold and I can’t control the future of that right now, I hold off on setting goals for it. Making…
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Taking Care of My Mental Health
One of the most common questions I get asked is “How are you doing, mentally?” It’s a completely reasonable question. Right now, everything I do revolves around my health. It’s a scary and turbulent time. At twenty, I’ve faced a lot of obstacles. This has caused me to develop different issues along the way. As I’ve said before, I have OCD. This is something I wasn’t aware of until several months ago. As a child, I’d often have intrusive thoughts. Anxiety would develop as a coping mechanism. I always assumed OCD was obsessive cleaning, handwashing, and compulsive behaviors. If I had OCD it would be very noticable. Given, most of…
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An Urgent Surgery
If you keep up to date with my blog, you know now that I need hip surgery to repair a tear. Well, that is not the only surgery I need. Last week I had another angioedema attack. This is the most severe attack I’ve had to date. For the past eighteen months I’ve been dealing with random swellings of my tonsils, tongue and uvula. This problem has perplexed most doctors and it has yet to be controlled by medications. During my last attack, I was prepped for intubation. They went through the protocol, numbed my airway but I turned a corner at the last moment. My throat swelled so much…
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I Need Surgery
Anyone with chronic illness can tell you that you’re not immune to normal issues. When I first started to get in shape after getting diagnosed, I took to running pretty fast. This was soon after my physical therapists had taught me how to walk again with a normal gait. I set off with the goal that I was going to run a marathon. My plan was to run a 5k every month for eleven months. Then on the twelve month, exactly a year after my first 5k, I would run a half marathon. After my half marathon, I would take a year to train for a full blown marathon. With…
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Merry Christmas Spoonies!
Today, I’m celebrating Christmas. Whether you celebrate Christmas, another religious holiday, or no holiday at all, I hope you have a wonderful day. I hope that you feel joy on this day and everyday. I hope that you take time to be grateful. I hope you take time to share your gratitude. I hope that you look around you today and acknowledge the good in the world. I’m so grateful for your presence. No matter what you are struggling with, I want you to know that everything will be okay. It might not feel that way but I promise it will. I wanted to take a second and say thank…
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My First Week With My Service Dog
It’s been a little over a week since I brought my service dog, Crush, home from the facility that gifted him to me. As I’m writing this, Crush is trying to insist I play tug with him. It’s cute but not very productive. Having Crush home has been like no other experience I’ve ever had. Unlike our family dog, Crush is well trained and responds to most of the commands he’s given. He’s focused and attentive. We’ve been on several outings. Here’s an overview of our first week together. Our First Outings Crush and I went out together before the scheduled time. Due to some driving inconveniences, he went out…
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Finding Tools for Relaxation
Although, I’ve already written articles about relaxation and recharging. It’s important to talk about tools for relaxation. It’s difficult for some of us to let go of what’s on our minds to meditate or breathe. Sometimes buying relaxation aids can be the first step in our relaxation journey. Here are some of the best tools for relaxation. A Coloring Book Coloring can be very relaxing. It can often allow us to shut off our brain and think about something less taxing. For me, buying coloring books that are specifically for relaxation didn’t help me. I like coloring books geared towards topics I enjoy, my favorite is my Bob’s Burgers coloring…
