My Experience
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Dealing With Cancelled Appointments
If you’re anything like me, your appointments have been rescheduled. Rescheduled meaning they don’t have a date for them yet. It’s a stressful and frustrating situation and yet it cannot be helped. I’m glad that medical institutions are doing their best to keep everyone safe. But, not having my scheduled appointments is disappointing. I can’t help but think how differently some of these days would have gone if I had my appointments. Last Friday, I was supposed to meet with a new autonomic neurologist. I’ve waited months for this appointment and the answers it could bring may change my life. Now I have no idea when I’ll have this appointment.…
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Overcoming My Fear of Death
Death is my greatest fear. I expected to have this healthy and unworldly understanding of death after having my throat swell. That didn’t happen. Instead, I continued to become more afraid. Dealing with this fear isn’t simple. It’s not like a fear of heights. Not that that’s simple because I’m still afraid of heights. My point is, how does one overcome a fear of death? This has been the theme of my OCD, when it senses something as a fear in my life I get anxious. It starts to pick out things that aren’t threats. Identifying what’s real and what’s not is very difficult. Anyone who’s dealt with anxiety can…
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Planning for the Future
This is a weird and dark time. Likely, you’re feeling a bit isolated. During this time it’s difficult to think of anything else besides covid-19. I’ve found something that can help! Planning for the future. This found me by accident. I have to register for the Fall semester in a little under a month and I needed to get my ducks in a row. Now, I have my Fall planned out and more than anything, I feel excited. Of course, no one knows what the Fall or the rest of this year will look like. I say there’s no harm in planning for the best possible outcome. I even started…
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Calming My Anger and Resentment
In the past two weeks, I’ve been excessively angry. I have regressed from the mental state of radical acceptance. I have become filled with resentment. I’m actively working to remedy this change, as I don’t like the effects anger has on me. I like feeling warm and cozy within my body and anger doesn’t provide that home. This anger has been focused on individuals who don’t interact well with Crush. It’s rare that I encounter people that are rude or unpleasant towards Crush. Rather it’s people who are overly excited about seeing a dog that have the ability to ruin my day. When I say they ruin my day, I…
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Making Progress With My Hip
After my hip surgery, I’ve had a lot of ups and downs. For the most part, everyone is excited to see the progress I’ve made. I’m ahead of schedule and my hip is recovering nicely. I was ecstatic to get off crutches but it came with a price. I started to have extra pain in my hip when walking, something I didn’t experience with crutches. This brought me to a difficult fork in the road. Suddenly, I had to scale back what I was doing to accommodate this new change. Even with that set back, I’ve started physical therapy and we can see new results everyday. Choosing to get this…
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My Issue With the Coronavirus
I know that this is the topic that everyone and no one wants to address. You’ve probably heard about it too much in the past month. I don’t want to talk about the virus itself but rather the conversation around it. Recently, I got into a conversation about the hype the media has brought to the virus. The people I was conversing with believe it’s talked about too much and there is no reason to panic. I don’t think people should panic. People should be concerned and prepared. Having a parent that works in the medical field, I know how serious this is for hospitals. This is cause for concern.…
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Dealing With Ignorance
It’s interesting to me that I have to address this topic. After this week, frustrated. I have noticed that people have started to treat me differently since getting Crush. Most people are very accommodating or overly nice but there are others that are not. I recently watched a video on Youtube. A blind woman described her experience with her guide dog. She recalls times of being denied by a Lyft or Uber drivers, simply because of her dog. I can’t say that I’ve ever experienced this. I can’t imagine. I’m sure it will happen eventually but the Twin Cities is very accommodating. Let me preface this with the fact that…
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We Graduated!
Last Saturday Crush and I graduated from our program! Although Crush has had the official title of service dog for sometime, this event marked a special occasion in our journey together. Getting Crush was such a journey. From when the idea sparked in my mind to meeting him for the first time was a process, to say the least. There is so much to know before you get a service dog but nothing can prepare you for the beautiful reality of it. I’ve been brought into a community of people that is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced. Everyone is kind and loving. I had the joy of meeting the people…
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Tips and Tricks for Dealing with OCD
Dealing with OCD is an interesting experience. For most of my life, I was unaware of the fact that my anxiety was obsessive compulsive disorder. Having intrusive thoughts is a normal part of life but for individuals with OCD there’s a hyper focus on them. I can spend literal hours doing mental gymnastics. I repeat phrases to myself and try to ensure my own or others safety. The reality of living with OCD can be somewhat harsh. The only way to truly beat or overcome OCD is to endure. This is a therapy known as Exposure and Response Prevention. The therapy consists of exposing yourself to your fear. Then you…
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Moving On
Dealing with chronic illness is unlike most experiences. It’s something unique, everyone’s experience is different. From talking with my doctors, it’s apparent that a lot of patients feel stuck in their circumstances. Having had an appointment that lasted over three hours yesterday, I find it important to have my physicians understand my goals. Goals are something sacred to me. In some situations, I am hesitant to set goals or objectives. If I feel unsure of whether I can make a goal, I fear failing. Leaving this lengthy appointment with lots to think about, I began to evaluate what I want for the future. For the first time in my life,…
